His world

The universe is too big

For any comprehension

Amazing for us to live

In gravitational suspension

 

Like a rubber band

That never snaps

We’re an insignificant dot of land

On a universal map

 

Each part a miracle

Each cell its own life

Wonder in one particle

Wonder that there is life

 

Too good to waste

Too amazing to conceive

A hint of divine taste

In every little leaf

 

What have we become

Just because we can’t conceive

What should bring us to our knees

We’ve turned His world into a sieve

 

~Emilino

Welcome

Welcome back

Isn’t it good to be awake

After so long in the dark

 

Now you can speak

Now you can hear

Now you can see

 

You’re alive now

 

Now there is color

Now there is light

Now you’re okay

 

Good thing

You didn’t give up

 

I know

You hated your life

I know

You wanted an end

But I told you

Hold on

Take my hand

Life is better

When you’re here with Me

 

Welcome

to

life

 

Welcome

to my love

I love you

 

Now you can feel it

My love in your breath

My love on your skin

My love in your veins

My love is

holding you together

 

Life is worth it

Life is worth it

Life is worth Me

I gave you life

I wouldn’t

give you life

that wasn’t worth

the hardships

 

I love you

I love you

Welcome to life

Welcome to love

I love you

Welcome to Me

Welcome

home.

 

~Emilino

God’s calling you

To where will you run

To where will you turn

Who do you ask for your help

Who will give you love

 

Isn’t there a thirst, there

Deep inside your chest

A thirst you can’t seem to quench

Who’ll give you drink to quench it

 

Nothing in this world

No one in this world

You feel the emptiness

But they’re all empty, too

 

They can’t fill your longing

They can’t quench your thirst

They long for something, too

They are thirsty, too

 

Ask your questions

Who will know?

They have no answer

Apart from Me

 

Cry your tears everywhere

Throw yourself on the ground

Who will dry your face

Who will pick you up

 

You feel so very lonely

Feel that emptiness inside

Who will keep you company

Who fill will your emptiness

 

You wish for something greater

You want everlasting arms

I am that something greater

I’ll wrap you in My arms

 

I know everything about you

I know your inside out

I know all that you’ve ever done

And all your reasons why

 

To me, you aren’t a mystery

No need to make excuses

To me, you’re beautiful

No need to wear a mask

 

I will quench your thirst for love

I’m all you’ll ever need

I will fill your emptiness

And overflow your soul

 

I am what you long for

The end of your desire

Come to Me and find yourself

I am what you need.

 

 

This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life:

~Emilino

Picture courtesy thinkatheist.com

Ache for God

 You know, a really amazing thing about God, for me, is that He’s always there. He’s not gonna leave. Ever.

Since someone in my life left (I’m not going to talk about that person in depth right now, but he left and I miss him), it’s been a bit difficult to really love people. I’m scared they’ll leave. And I’ll miss them. So much. So much.

Sometimes it seems too good to be true, that God is always going to be with me, for all eternity. I’ll lay in bed at night, as I fall asleep, and pray, “Don’t ever leave me. Please, God, don’t ever leave me.” I’m desperate to keep Him. Sometimes it feels like He’s all I have.

No matter who leaves, no matter who I miss out of my mind, no matter who I love or who I have a crush on or who hates me or who died, God will always, always be with me. Always. At my side. Holding my hand. My God. He’s beautiful.

I can hang on to God all I want, and I’ll never lose Him. He’s my Father. My Lover. My Comforter. My All. My Savior. My Teacher. My Physician. He’s everything good. Everything.

Sometimes I’ll find myself fantasizing about someone. You know how that is. You watch a romantic movie. You read a romantic book. And you start to fantasize about all that romancey stuff happening to you.

And me, being a junior high girl… well, it ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. I have a crush, but he’s not mine. He probably never will be. I’m not gonna get married anytime soon. So fantasizing about romance is utterly useless. It gets me nothing. All it gets me is a yearning in my heart for something I cannot have. A yearning for someone I cannot have.

I’ll think about my crush, and want him, like I need him. It’s like just by thinking about him, I’m giving myself to him. And that’s stupid, because he doesn’t even know it and he is not mine. But I have this feeling of possessiveness, like I deserve him just because I’ve thought about him so much and been so infatuated with him. But I don’t. I never will. He does not belong to me. He is out of my reach.

And, dang it, that breaks my heart.

It’s so empty. How do some people live their whole lives like that? Yearning for things they cannot have, nursing the heartache they cannot place.

God is the answer. God is the only answer.

And not just romance.

When you look at a breathtakingly gorgeous landscape. Beautiful colors of the sky. A sunset so beautiful it’s almost savage. It’s like you look at it and it just devours your soul.

There’s an ache, there, that I don’t think anyone can describe. The raw beauty of nature, of life. Like you want to take a mental snapshot and keep it there, forever, like a wallpaper in your mind. A deep, deep yearn. A desire.

For what?

For God.

God is beautiful.

 

Okay, I just now searched “God quotes” on Google and clicked on a result on brainyquote.com (love that site, BTW), and I found a quote that I think very well captures what I am trying to say:

That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.”
~Albert Einstein

Okay, so, I know Albert Einstein was a total atheist. Isn’t it crazy that a quote from an atheist can inspire a better understanding of the beauty of God? Crazy.

Anyway, God is so beautiful it’s like when I look at the sunset, I am experiencing a slice of His glory. I want more of it. I want more of Him.

So when I feel that yearn, that inner ache, toward romance or nature or anything, I turn to God and it’s like He ignites my soul. It’s like that ache is gasoline, and God is setting my existence ablaze with His holy beauty.

When I want my crush, I instead look to God and want Him instead. And you know what’s beautiful about that? I can have Him. I am His. He is mine. There is nothing lost but the bad parts of me, yet all good is gained.

If I want a lover, God will be my Lover. If I want a man, God will be my Man. If nature is beautiful, God is the Creator, and the Creator is so much better than the created. He is infinite. Unchanging. Eternal. Forever.

I take Him for granted so often. I sit there and think how great life would be if I just had that person. You know what I mean?

And there’s God, right there with me, mine to love, and I just forget about Him. I’m so… stupid.

God is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don’t ever want to forget.

God is all I want to yearn for.

When I yearn for God, the yearning is full.

Because I have Him.

And He will never leave me.

 

~Emilino

Picture courtesy blog.uad.ac.id

Take me

This lonely night

I can’t handle the world

To overpower me

Not tonight

 

So take my fears

Take my worry

Take my panic, my stress

Take all of me

 

While the wind whistles

Through the trees

Take me in Your arms

Hold me tight

 

I’ll run to You

And sob to You

And bury my face in Your chest

I need You to love me, Lord

 

So tonight, forever

Protect me

Embrace me, God, take me in

Sing me to sleep

 

I’ll fall asleep

In Your arms

And in my dreams

You’ll be beside me

 

And in the morning

Under a pale sky

Awaken me, Lord

I’ll wake up to You

 

I need Your touch

I need Your love

I need You forever

I’d die without You

 

You’re beautiful, God

You’re gorgeous

You’re all I want

I love You

 

~Emilino

Pictures courtesy lustlifelove.tumblr.com and bankofnaturalcapital.com

Won’t You come

When the demons dance

And scream and taunt

In the shadow’s growing stance

You’re all I want

 

When they spit in my face

They want me to run

Catch me in the open space

For all I’ve done

 

What can I do but close my eyes

Pray that You’ll come save me

I have to trust I’ll see You soon

Fold my hands and pray

 

Pray You’ll see me

Pray You’ll hear me

Pray You’ll find me

Pray You’ll save me

 

Come and get me

Lift me up, God, my God

They laugh at me

They’ll run when they see God

 

Take me away with You

Take me to Your kingdom

Lay me down and calm me

Lay me down before You

 

I’m raking the ground to find You

Yelling to the sky

In search of You

I give my tears up when I cry

 

I need You

I need You

I need You now

I need You to save me

 

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

I’m right here

My Lord, my Lord, my Lord

Won’t You come

 

Won’t You be my shelter

Won’t You come

 

~Emilino

Pictures courtesy:

onedayatatimebroward.blogspot.com

flickr.com

At the sight

(My, my, this one is long. Please do your best to stay with me.)

 

When I was a little girl

I saw monsters

Jeering at me at night

In the darkness of my room

When my door came unhinged

And lunged at me

And snow fell from the ceiling

And wolves growled beside my bed

And demons danced around me

 

Maybe they were demons

Maybe I hallucinated

My mom came in one night

When I was crying

Don’t fall in”

I told her

Don’t fall into the crack

In the floor”

 

As I got a bit older

The hallucinations stopped

And were replaced by nightmares

Every night

Like any other little kid

As I started to understand the world

Just a bit more

As I grew up

 

I remember the nightmares

A scorpion the size of a dinner plate

With the face of a woman

I remember

A cobra

Waiting to bite me

As I fell from my top bunk

I remember

Coming home

And the gored body parts

Of my pet hamster

Lying around my house

 

I grew yet older

I remember my best friend

Who turned on me

Because she needed me to stay

And I misunderstood

What she needed

I remember

A head injury at her house

That haunted me

For a reason I still don’t know

And yet it still haunts me

 

I remember

Crying on my bed in the dark

Depressed, hopeless, selfish

Depressed for years

Unending

I don’t remember

The years before

I don’t remember

What it was like

To be young and innocent

And not struggle with depression

 

I remember

Finding God

In that darkness

Hand outstretched

Compassion pouring

From His gaze

And those holy fingers

Opened my eyes

And the nightmares

Had been demons

And the hallucinations

Had been demons

And they fled

When my Lord took hold

Of my heart

 

And I cried

And I cried

And Jesus lifted me from

The darkness of my childhood

Lifted me from

The trauma

Of my head injury

And He’s beautiful

So beautiful

So beautiful

 

His touch

The sweetest

Anywhere

Indescribable

That took my burden

That sat me in His lap

And showed me the beautiful things

In this dark, dark world

 

I grew up

And I changed

And the world changed

And everything changed

And times came

And times went

But God stayed

God stayed

And His love

Sheds light

On darkness

 

And the darkness flees

And the demons run

And Satan pales

And Hell scabs over

 

At the sight

At the sound

At the mention

Of the Lord’s

Beautiful

Love.

 

Emilino

Picture courtesy sciencelearn.org.nz

Song by Phil Wickham courtesy on Youtube.com