God’s calling you

To where will you run

To where will you turn

Who do you ask for your help

Who will give you love

 

Isn’t there a thirst, there

Deep inside your chest

A thirst you can’t seem to quench

Who’ll give you drink to quench it

 

Nothing in this world

No one in this world

You feel the emptiness

But they’re all empty, too

 

They can’t fill your longing

They can’t quench your thirst

They long for something, too

They are thirsty, too

 

Ask your questions

Who will know?

They have no answer

Apart from Me

 

Cry your tears everywhere

Throw yourself on the ground

Who will dry your face

Who will pick you up

 

You feel so very lonely

Feel that emptiness inside

Who will keep you company

Who fill will your emptiness

 

You wish for something greater

You want everlasting arms

I am that something greater

I’ll wrap you in My arms

 

I know everything about you

I know your inside out

I know all that you’ve ever done

And all your reasons why

 

To me, you aren’t a mystery

No need to make excuses

To me, you’re beautiful

No need to wear a mask

 

I will quench your thirst for love

I’m all you’ll ever need

I will fill your emptiness

And overflow your soul

 

I am what you long for

The end of your desire

Come to Me and find yourself

I am what you need.

 

 

This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life:

~Emilino

Picture courtesy thinkatheist.com

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Ache for God

 You know, a really amazing thing about God, for me, is that He’s always there. He’s not gonna leave. Ever.

Since someone in my life left (I’m not going to talk about that person in depth right now, but he left and I miss him), it’s been a bit difficult to really love people. I’m scared they’ll leave. And I’ll miss them. So much. So much.

Sometimes it seems too good to be true, that God is always going to be with me, for all eternity. I’ll lay in bed at night, as I fall asleep, and pray, “Don’t ever leave me. Please, God, don’t ever leave me.” I’m desperate to keep Him. Sometimes it feels like He’s all I have.

No matter who leaves, no matter who I miss out of my mind, no matter who I love or who I have a crush on or who hates me or who died, God will always, always be with me. Always. At my side. Holding my hand. My God. He’s beautiful.

I can hang on to God all I want, and I’ll never lose Him. He’s my Father. My Lover. My Comforter. My All. My Savior. My Teacher. My Physician. He’s everything good. Everything.

Sometimes I’ll find myself fantasizing about someone. You know how that is. You watch a romantic movie. You read a romantic book. And you start to fantasize about all that romancey stuff happening to you.

And me, being a junior high girl… well, it ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. I have a crush, but he’s not mine. He probably never will be. I’m not gonna get married anytime soon. So fantasizing about romance is utterly useless. It gets me nothing. All it gets me is a yearning in my heart for something I cannot have. A yearning for someone I cannot have.

I’ll think about my crush, and want him, like I need him. It’s like just by thinking about him, I’m giving myself to him. And that’s stupid, because he doesn’t even know it and he is not mine. But I have this feeling of possessiveness, like I deserve him just because I’ve thought about him so much and been so infatuated with him. But I don’t. I never will. He does not belong to me. He is out of my reach.

And, dang it, that breaks my heart.

It’s so empty. How do some people live their whole lives like that? Yearning for things they cannot have, nursing the heartache they cannot place.

God is the answer. God is the only answer.

And not just romance.

When you look at a breathtakingly gorgeous landscape. Beautiful colors of the sky. A sunset so beautiful it’s almost savage. It’s like you look at it and it just devours your soul.

There’s an ache, there, that I don’t think anyone can describe. The raw beauty of nature, of life. Like you want to take a mental snapshot and keep it there, forever, like a wallpaper in your mind. A deep, deep yearn. A desire.

For what?

For God.

God is beautiful.

 

Okay, I just now searched “God quotes” on Google and clicked on a result on brainyquote.com (love that site, BTW), and I found a quote that I think very well captures what I am trying to say:

That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.”
~Albert Einstein

Okay, so, I know Albert Einstein was a total atheist. Isn’t it crazy that a quote from an atheist can inspire a better understanding of the beauty of God? Crazy.

Anyway, God is so beautiful it’s like when I look at the sunset, I am experiencing a slice of His glory. I want more of it. I want more of Him.

So when I feel that yearn, that inner ache, toward romance or nature or anything, I turn to God and it’s like He ignites my soul. It’s like that ache is gasoline, and God is setting my existence ablaze with His holy beauty.

When I want my crush, I instead look to God and want Him instead. And you know what’s beautiful about that? I can have Him. I am His. He is mine. There is nothing lost but the bad parts of me, yet all good is gained.

If I want a lover, God will be my Lover. If I want a man, God will be my Man. If nature is beautiful, God is the Creator, and the Creator is so much better than the created. He is infinite. Unchanging. Eternal. Forever.

I take Him for granted so often. I sit there and think how great life would be if I just had that person. You know what I mean?

And there’s God, right there with me, mine to love, and I just forget about Him. I’m so… stupid.

God is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don’t ever want to forget.

God is all I want to yearn for.

When I yearn for God, the yearning is full.

Because I have Him.

And He will never leave me.

 

~Emilino

Picture courtesy blog.uad.ac.id

Please, God, please

I’ve been praying frantically for somebody in my life to get saved.

You know, I pray for everybody.  Not just this one guy.  But it breaks my heart that there are people who will burn in hell when they die.  Even the jerks.  Even the bullies.  Why, Lord, why must they suffer forever?  Why must this happen?  Maybe they deserve it, maybe they’re blocking You out and they’re gonna pay for it, but must You put them through such pain?  Couldn’t You save them?

I know He chose me.  He chooses His people.  We don’t choose Him.  He handpicks us.  And that comforts me that He has chosen me, but it also means there are millions of people out there He has not chosen and never will.

Because He did not choose them, does that mean they have to suffer?  For all eternity?  Isolated from every good thing?  With no rest, no comfort, no trace of Him?

It tears my heart to pieces.  And yes, I understand the logic of it, but the logic does not change the emotion. This tears my heart to PIECES.  Why must you blind yourself?  Don’t you see what you will pay for it?  Don’t you see that there must be consequence for your actions?

And I get that it would be weird to give yourself to a God who seems to so many like a fairy tale, like a crutch for the weak.

But can I ask you this?  So you say God does not exist.

What if you’re right?

Where is hope?  Where will you go?  Will your death be the end of all your existence?  How can you believe that?  What fills your emptiness?  Do you have no comfort?

So God is a crutch for the weak.

Are you not weak?  Are you so strong you need no crutch to lean on?

What love can you turn to?  Other people’s?  Other people die.  Other people change their minds, their hearts.  Other people sin, make mistakes, fall.  They fall.  They fall, and you cannot trust those who fall, can you?  What happens when misfortune occurs?  Where do you turn?

If you don’t open your eyes, you will suffer forever.  With no goodness.  No hope.  Fire.  Rage.  Hatred.  Sadness.  How do you stand the possibility of that?  Science cannot be proven.  What when your world breaks to pieces?  Where do you go?  Who do you cry to?  What when all your family dies?  Who will you have?  What when you die?  What will come of your success?  All you did won’t matter any longer once you die.  What if your life here is terrible, and then you die and turn to nothing?  Is that all the hope you have?  That this life is it, so make the most of it.  That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

So you blind yourself.  You numb yourself.  You are not experiencing life.  You are experiencing death.  Satan throws his lies your way, and you fall for them.  And why?  Because you have nothing to turn to!  So you turn to Satan!  Why don’t you just turn to God?  God is all things good!  GOD IS YOUR ONLY HOPE!  GOD IS ALL YOU WILL EVER HAVE!  AND YOU TURN YOUR FACE FROM HIM!  WHERE IS YOUR COMFORT, TROUBLED SOUL?  YOU HAVE NONE WITHOUT GOD!  YOU HAVE NONE!

I beg you.  I beg you on my knees.  Take Him.  Take His promise.  Take His word.  Take His love.  His everlasting love that will not fail, not ever, will not ever change, will not make a mistake, not a single one.  He loves you.  He will love you forever.  He will love you even as you burn in the pit of hell if you do not choose Him.

Can you even imagine how much it breaks His heart if it so breaks mine?  Me, and my numbed, guilty conscience, even sees the sadness of your state.  God sees the real picture, the clear vision.  He sees your brokenness, your desperation, and He is knocking on Your heart and you are so blind and deaf you can’t even hear Him.

He is calling out your name to hear Him, to listen to Him.  Can’t you see?  Look.  Just look.  When you look, is it even possible to look away?  He is so beautiful.  So beautiful.

Let Him save you.  He saved me.  He swooped down upon me like an eagle and saved me.  And how can I shut up about it?  About this beauty?

Listen to me!  Listen to Him!

I’m praying for two people in particular.  As well as everybody, and for my strength to keep telling everybody I can about Him even if it they get angry and refuse to listen.

But one guy I know is so sweet.  He’s just so sweet.  I can’t stand to see him go to hell when he dies.  I just can’t.

So I’m praying.  With my face on the floor.  I want him to get saved.  With all of my heart.  I need him to get saved, or I will not rest.  I will not rest until he gets saved.

Lord, how could You refuse him?  How could You?

Save him.  Please, God, my God, save him!  Save him!  Open his eyes to see You!  SAVE HIM!  LORD, SAVE HIM!

~Emilino

Picture courtesy cairnhill.wordpress.com

Song: Prayin For You by Lecrae

She’ll be dancing

Forgive me for waiting so long to post something new.  And yes, it IS another poem.  Really.  I sincerely apologize.

But anyway, this scene has been playing in my mind a lot lately.  The scene of a girl dancing on water, in perfect joy despite her circumstances.  I sort of want to be like that.  I think everyone does.  We all want to be happy amid crisis.  And so, my poem.

 

Everyone said

She couldn’t believe

Everyone said

Her faith wouldn’t last

 

They’d seen it before

This was no exception

Her smile would fade

She would lose hope

 

“This happens,” they said

“She won’t survive”

 

But see her, there

Standing by the water

Looking at her reflection

 

When comes the rain

Drop by drop

She’ll take a step

Onto the blue

With that gleam in her eye

 

When comes the rain

Drop by drop

She’ll be dancing

Step by step

Dancing

Dancing on the sea

 

The rain is falling

Down

Down

She’s soaked

Soaked to the bone

 

But there it stops

She bids it halt

The rain

Won’t soak her heart

Her heart

 

When Satan reaches

For her soul

She’ll be dancing

When comes the rain

Drop by drop

She’ll be dancing

And dancing

Dancing

Dancing on the sea.

 

 

Emilino

Picture courtesy psbible.blogspot.com.

Passion

Sometimes it’s hard to look at the people around me who don’t believe in a God.

I go to school five days a week, and I constantly hear people just dissing their Creator.

These people, these beautiful lives. They’re brimming with hope, bursting with passion – just like me, just like everyone. They each have dreams, they each have goals. They each believe in something.

But there is vital, life-changing difference between me and my non-Christian peers. I look at them, and it’s like they’re missing this part of their heart. They have passion, but they have an incredible yearning. And for what? I know what the human yearning is for. But they don’t. And they will live their whole entire lives with a yearning in their heart that will never be fulfilled.

We have a purpose. We all have a purpose. A meaning! A PURPOSE! Something that we live for. Something we die for.

SOMETHING WE DIE FOR!

And all these people around me, these people I see every day, flooding the halls of my school, strolling the sidewalks of life, wandering the fields of being —

They will die for something.

And so many, so very, very many of them, will die for the wrong thing.

They will DIE for the WRONG thing.

How is this happening? How is this allowed? How do we allow this?!

These people all over the world don’t believe in God. They sit there and say to themselves, “There must be no God, because if there was, He wouldn’t allow all this carnage to go on.”

Come on. Come on, people! “Why would GOD allow this carnage”?! This nightmare, this terrible, terrible nightmare?

Don’t say it like it’s God’s fault. God has done nothing to cause this destruction, this emptiness, this yearning that won’t ever end. He hasn’t. He wouldn’t. He loves us so very, very much, so much more than we can EVER IMAGINE!

I bet you hear that all the time, huh? “God loves you more than you can imagine.” I sure have. I hear that a lot. I take it for granted way too often.

Because, really, remember the most passionate love you have ever felt in your whole entire life. A passion that flooded your senses and overcame your being and burned itself into your soul. Remember that complete and total love.

God loves His people WAY more than that.

 

God didn’t ever cause this distortion of joy. He didn’t cause this crap. We did. WE DID.

I look at these people around me with eyes full of hope, and they don’t even know where the hope comes from. They live in a horrible reality. We live in the same place. I know what it’s like. I live in it, too. I know I caused the destruction. But you know what I also know? I know how to be saved from the destruction. I have been redeemed. I will not stay here forever. This isn’t all there is. I know where the hope comes from.

And every single day I see people who have no idea.

Every day I see people who will always, always, always live in destruction.

Why am I sitting here and writing this?

I wish there were no destruction.

I wish there were no nightmares.

I wish everything was just made of milk and honey and we’d all go to Heaven when we die.

But we won’t.

Not all of us will.

You know what?

There IS destruction.

There ARE nightmares.

It’s right there, in plain sight, right in all our faces. We live it, breathe it. Some of us cling to it. Some of us need a reality, so we accept anything.

Well, I won’t.

I refuse to live and breathe this destruction forever.

I won’t sit here in my own little world forever.

I will go and I will pour out my sinful, hopeful, yearning heart into the streets of mankind.

I guess that’s what I’m doing now.

But someday, maybe, someday someone will pass by this heart lying on the street for all to see. They’ll see it, and they’ll see God’s heart right there next to mine.

I want everyone to know this power. This passion.

I want everyone to yearn and know what they’re yearning for.

I want everyone to love and know who loves them.

I WANT EVERY SINGLE HUMAN ON THIS PLANET TO BE FREE FROM THIS CARNAGE!

Because you know what? You know what?

I AM FREE.

 

Emilino

Picture courtesy freelancefolder.com.