It’s about time

I seem to be finding myself drifting lately. I’m not entirely sure why. I get caught up in other things, and I forget God. And I hate it.

Life without Him is empty, and dead. And sometimes it seems like other things can fill up His place, but they can’t. They truly cannot. Nothing can. Nothing but God can fill God’s place. And absolutely nothing can compare to His amazing love. Oh, His amazing love, that we can run into His open arms, what a relief, what a relief! That He will accept our burdens onto His own shoulders, the God of all creation, the One who deserves everything good. How is this, that He would relieve me of my own pain, caused by my own sin?

It’s not something that should be taken lightly, what I’ve been doing. I just pick the right time and place to pay any attention to God. And then, wow, who knew, it doesn’t really feel real when I finally look at Him, after so long apart, simply because it’s my duty. Simply because I don’t want to go to hell when I die.

When I spend less time with God, it seems like that empty time becomes filled with loneliness, with sadness, with yearning and longing. What a fool I am, that I haven’t even learned from my own mistakes. Even knowing everything apart from God is ugly and empty, I still accept worldliness before God.

Why skimp myself of God’s true love? Why run from God’s beautiful eyes, His beautiful arms, His beautiful hands, His beautiful face, His beautiful love? There’s no point. It doesn’t make sense.

I say I love God. Do I really? Do I love God like I claim to?

Sometimes I’m not sure.

And do you know what?

I am sick and tired of not being sure.

It’s time to be sure. It’s time to face God, to love Him, to replace worldly emptiness with Godly fullness. It’s time to turn from terror and let Love wrap His arms around me, and protect me for all eternity. It’s time to quite wanting earthly things and just want God. It’s time to stop filling my head with lies and learn more of the truth. The unshakable, undeniable, infallible Truth of God.




My Lord.

God, dear God, dear Jesus, dear God, beloved God–

I love You.


“His face is more handsome than any other. His eyes are filled with beauty. When He is angry, His eyes burn with nothing but love.

He is strongest. His touch is gentlest. He carries me, He wraps me in His arms and He sings me to sleep. His lullaby is more comforting than any other.

He is perfect. When I call, He runs to my side. He holds my hand, and when my enemies say they hate me, He whispers that He loves me. I love Him. He speaks endless words of comfort. He breathes into me and I want my heart to beat with His.

He is perfect. He is beautiful. I am in love with Him. I am His. He is everything. He is breathtaking. He is awesome. He brings light with every step. He is the peace in all our nightmares. He is the One who loves me. He is my Father.

He is my God.”

~September 17, 2011


His voice

That sings me to sleep

His hands

That take in them mine

His arms

That carry me

His shoulder

Rest for my heavy head

His wrists

Pierced because of His love

His brow

Sweat with blood for me

His lips

Breathed life into me

Kiss my sin-pocked face

His spirit

Perfect, deserving of

Much greater than me

His love

Surrounds me, brings me peace

Unfailing, never-ending

I do not deserve it

It is mine.

~September 25, 2011

I feel like although God isn’t taking all the pain away, He is sharing the burden, and He is just pouring these immense feelings of love onto me. This love, this love of God, that just makes me want to fall on my face and sob. He loves me so much. He loves me so much. And I do that. I bow my head to the floor and I cry. I cry because oh, oh, this love, this holy love, this powerful love, this love that fills my senses and I cannot yet begin to fathom His awesome love.

God. God. Father. Lord. His is a name filled with power, filled with wonder. Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. Who was. Who is. Who is to come.”

~September 27, 2011




Pictures courtesy:

Song and video by Leeland courtesy




Sorry for what I said

Sorry for what I did

Sorry for what You went through

My sin is rid

But You were dead


Sorry for mocking You

For all my despair

Sorry for ignoring You

Sorry for loving someone else

While you watched me and wept


Sorry for the tears You cried

Sorry for my sinful pride

Sorry for turning my back

Sinning tends to be my knack

Sorry for hating You, for being snide


Sorry for fighting Your arms

I don’t know how I looked away

From Your beautiful, beautiful eyes

I let myself succumb to harm

When all I had to do was stay,

and with my Savior rise


You’re my first Love, my true Love

I’ll never leave Your side

Heaven’s descending from above

To You I’ll always come

I’ll never break my stride


Thank You for staying

Thank You for raising

Thank You for everything

Forgive me for my sin

Stir my heart within


I love You.



Picture courtesy

Humanity’s curse



Above the frost on which we stand


Trying not to fall


Living in shameful humanity


Straining our ears for a call




We know we should run for all we’re worth


Run from the train wreck of our own sin


Somehow we keep on returning


Calling His name with faithless mirth




Time by time we say His name


Irreverence replacing our honesty


He blocks His ears in pure disgust


How often we do exactly the same




Some day we’ll see our grave mistake


How we brought down our own ruin


Upon the heads of the innocent


And all that trash was ours to take




Unmistakable attraction lies


In between the feathers of Satan’s wings


Embracing evil as God Himself tries


To tell us we’re fighting for empty things




Searching for love in the farthest corners


Anything but the love that counts


Our flesh greasing up the walls of life


Step by step, we make our rounds


Jab by jab, bit in the foot


With Lucifer’s hounds




And Eden’s innocence has long taken flight


The olive branch in the beak of the dove


Brought to Noah in his search for rest


Is crushed beneath humanity’s plight




And the longing that fills the hard man’s eyes


And the sunset’s soft light that fills the sky


And we reach for a star that can never be touched


And we try on our own, but we still need a crutch




Yet He mourns for us as we mourn for ourselves


Jesus cried of finished redemption


Arching His back in the sinner’s pain


Crying for us not to search anymore


Please – not to search in vain




In His crucifixion


Written on His face


Carved into His back with a cat of nine tails


Bored into His hands of inhuman love




Softly, words fall from His beautiful wounds


Faintly, but clearly, He whispers our name


Telling us, return to His arms


Telling us to come back home




I love you”


I love you”


I love you”


I love you”


I love you forever


You’re mine.”


Picture courtesy