Beauty

In my darkness, I saw You. Standing right before me, exposed in almost too much glory for me to handle. Hanging on that cross. How does that even make sense? To me, it doesn’t. I’m not even capable of that much love. And when I saw that, knew who You were, what You’d done, how much You love my crappy human soul, I could hardly bear it. I cried and cried and cried, because You were so beautiful and I wasn’t and I’d never even had a clue until then. I’d wasted all these years.

And that vision of You on that ugly, dirty cross was so very forcefully, savagely, unnervingly beautiful that I felt like my entire soul was just melting before You. Your love, Your love, Your love, Your divine love that asked for my heart and wanted to swallow me whole, so beautiful, beautiful, beautiful – there aren’t any words to fit it in. I keep searching through my mind, trying to come up with some word that can even begin to describe the depth of Your beauty, but I can’t find any. All those sunrises, human romance, music I thought were so beautiful – they’re like corpses in comparison to You.

And I want to just throw myself into You, throw myself on the ground before You, oh Jesus, Jesus, anything, anything; I could DIE before You and be happy. It’s all I ever want to do, just see more and more and more of You, and You never get old, You’re so amazing, so breathtaking, so beautiful, and my heart flutters like a butterfly every time I think of You. I could say it’s like a romance, but that doesn’t do it justice. Every romance has its drawbacks. But Yours? Your romance has none. Your romance is nothing but good.

I don’t see how anyone lives without You. I did, for a while, but I wasn’t really living. I was just surviving. I had no joy, no love. I was dead, gone, exhausted, afflicted, destitute, despairing, and I had no hope. Because You’re hope, I realize that now. You’re hope. You’re love. You’re mercy. You’re good. You’re everything that’s ever been good.

So to the world, what can I say?

You guys are living in destruction.

Beauty is just waiting for you with open arms, to take you in and hold you tight and never let you go.

His name is Jesus, God, Lord, Yahweh, Messiah, Father, Dad, Daddy —

Love.

 

Emilino

Pictures courtesy firstcovers.com and lighterblonde.deviantart.com.

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